As I sit here thinking of all that I’ve been through, all in the past, where I am today and where I want to be tomorrow, I can’t help but wonder… HOW?
You see, I was abused as a child. I was abused during my first marriage. Oh don’t get me wrong, I knew which buttons to push too and I pushed them! But all the horrible upbringing I endured, lived through, SURVIVED through, I never crumbled. I never gave up.
I tried to talk to some people about my past and I always heard, leave it alone. The past can’t hurt you now. Leave the past, in the past. (excuse the verbiage on this next photo, but it’s what I heard)
But, let me tell you a secret… THE PAST CATCHES UP WITH YOU! I tried to forget what damage was done to me. I tried to think of it as happening to someone else and I just knew the story. But the scars remain. The hurt remains. The DAMAGE remains! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the past will always be there. What you do with it, that’s on you. Will you let it destroy you? Will you draw strength from it and be able to move forward and through any bad things that may have happened? How will you let your past define you?
Since this has happened to me, I wrote a book about it called “Abused…It Is What It Is” to hopefully bring abuse out in the forefront, without going overboard, but to stop it. Let people know that they aren’t alone, that there are others who went through it too or similar. That there is help out there if they want it.
Now, since the abuse from both my childhood and first marriage, I have remarried and I am living a much happier life. My husband is great and wonderful and ohh so kind and understanding. But mostly, he’s patient with me.
I look back and I see where I was, what I am now and who I want to be in the future. I want you to know that I am ok. That I survived. You can too, if you want help.
But more than that. I want to become a person where I make people feel good about themselves and to laugh and be happy. I want to hear children laughing at what I said or did. I don’t want any more sorrow, no more pain (like the Bible at Revelation 21:4)
So, here I sit today in a house that my husband and I bought together, with our 2 dogs, 2 cats and about 50 chickens. We have 3 children who between them gave us 4 grandchildren (with one on the way). and I THANK GOD that I survived.
I may not know what tomorrow may bring, But you can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to make it a great day!
I am in the process of writing children’s books, to hopefully hear children laugh at what I say and how it’s said. To hopefully hear the parents chuckle right along with them.
So I say to you NEVER GIVE UP!
NEVER! Hold on, move forward and let your past in, don’t let it rule you but remember it and try to learn from it so that you can be a better person today, tomorrow and in your future. So, I ask again. How will you let the past define you? Will you be a better/stronger person, or will you let it bring you down and be depressed, shallow and continue being the “victim”? You have the choice to choose. What you choose IS on YOU.
Much Love, Lou-Ellen