I’m in Toastmasters to improve my speaking abilities. Those that know me wonder why when I can talk to anyone. The truth is, I’m SCARED to talk in BIG groups of people. This is where Toastmasters come in.
I’ve been going for 3 years now. I finished one of my manuals and I have ordered (free for finishing first manual) 2 new books. One of them is for my humorous speeches. (LOL)
I had been asked to give a 2-3 minute humorous speech on Monday June 6th. I asked why me? I was informed it was because I was one of their best humorous speakers. (AWWWW)
So, I thought and I thought and I thought some more. And I came up with the perfect 2-3 funny speech! I thought I’d share it with you.
When I was a little girl, I was lied to. People call it a “white lie”. The “white lies” revolved around Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy; I’m sure you get the idea. But I felt betrayed, lied to.
How many of you told your children these stories? HAH! So you LIED!
When I became a mom, I vowed to NEVER lie to my children, not even the “white lies”. When my oldest child turned 5, she asked me if there was a Santa Claus. I took a deep breath and I told her that’s what my parents told me. I didn’t lie!
When my youngest turned 3 she asked me where babies came from, I didn’t lie. I told her from a mommy’s belly. Without missing a beat, my son asked; but how do they get there? GULP! I didn’t lie. I told him that daddy’s put babies there.
The older they got, the harder it was for me to answer them honestly. But I did it! I told them that if they ever wanted to know the truth to ask me and I’d tell them the truth. I also told them that if they were old enough to ask the question that they were old enough to know the truth.
Years go by and I stuck to my guns of not lying to my children. When my son turned 18 or 19 he got his tongue pierced. I asked him why he would do that when he could end up with a hole in the roof of his mouth or even broken or chipped teeth? He told me, in graphic detail of why he got his tongue pierced. I will spare you the scarring he gave me with that information.
I asked him why he would go into such graphic details; do you know what he did? He put his arm around my shoulders and said: “Well, mom, I figured since you were old enough to ask the question that you were old enough to know the truth.”
Did I just get my words thrown back at me or what?!
I learned many lessons in honesty! The main one being that if you aren’t ready for the truth, don’t ask the question!
Please leave your comments and tell me if you think this is humorous enough to encourage more people to join.