Domestic Violence

Perception Vs. Reality

As in my book, I tell you what I remember as a child is my reality. My truth. My perception. But did it really happen? Only God knows. Yes, that is true, only GOD knows for a certainty. You see, I never talked about my family dynamics and what went on inside those walls.  So when I talk about something, it’s what I remember as my reality, my truth.

I have not lied about it. I have not exaggerated about it. I just told it as I remember it.  Some have told me I lied. They asked me how I would feel if it was my family member that I told these lies about. How should I expect those to feel about me now that I’m spreading these lies?

Well, let me tell you. If someone came to me and said that my grandfather, father, husband, son, uncle, cousin, brother or whoever–abused them… YES, I would feel confused, lost, skeptical. But I would NEVER tell the person telling me that it’s a lie! I’d still stand by their side. I’d hold them and say I’m sorry it happened to you. Abuse is NOT OK! Not from anyone. Whether I’m related to them or not. I’d tell them I’m sorry it happened to you and I’d want to find out the truth. I’d not say YOU LIED! You shouldn’t tell such nasty things about my loved one.

Oh I know, it’s easier said than done. But having lived through abuse as a child and as an adult, I feel quite confident that I would NOT say to them that they lied. It’s not up to me to judge them. It’s not really up to me to even find out the truth. But I wouldn’t shame them. I wouldn’t kick them out of my life. I wouldn’t!

I’m not asking you to believe me, I’m asking you to stick by my side and love me no matter what. I’m asking that you have faith, trust, belief in me that since I have NEVER lied before, that I wouldn’t now.

What have you exaggerated about? Longer hair? better school grades? bigger boobs? Oh sure, it’s ok to exaggerate about those, isn’t it?

I need to say that yes, I have heard of some telling lies about being abused by their father, brother, step-father, grandfather, etc, just for the attention. I have even heard of such things going to court. I know that there are those that lie about it. I even have a few family members that were lied about and they now have to register. Why? because the lie was never challenged in the courts enough to bring out the real evidence. Or there was no evidence and the judges are hoping they did the right thing.

If my story offends you… then you need to look inside yourself and ask why? Did I hurt you, personally? If so, How?  Is it too close to your own story that you are trying to forget?  I’m not asking you to read my books. I’m not asking you to believe me. I’m only saying that there is truth in every lie. You and only you are the only one who can determine what you want to believe.  I can’t force you. I don’t want to be a part of your life if you can’t stand by me.

What is your story? have you had others not believe you? How has that made you feel? How has that affected your relationship with the other person?