Domestic Violence

Handling Resentment, Anger, Hurt

How did you handle Resentment, Anger, hurt? What did you do to overcome it?

These are only two of the questions I get asked. So, let me tell you.

As you know, I was abused. I didn’t “overcome” any of my anger, resentment, or hurt. I handled them. I no longer wish the other people dead, just don’t want them in my life. If they died, would I be affected? NOPE! They’d be like strangers to me… Sorry they passed away, but no skin off my back.

I wrote a book called “Abused…It Is What It Is” and I laid my life out in black and white. I am no longer hiding what I went through. When I wrote this book, it was very therapeutic to me. I was bare, raw again like it happened to me for the very first time.

I hated my abusers so much so that I had wished for a harsh demise to befall them. I wanted to witness it, sometimes I still do. SOMETIMES!  🙂  I hated how they treated me, what they said to me, how they touched me and so much more. I hurt so much over my anger, hatred, and resentment towards what they did/said to me, that I forgot I had a life to live.

So, I wrote my book. I told of all that had happened to me the way I remembered it. Is it accurate and true? to the best of my abilities and memories, they are.

I didn’t just “get over” or “overcome” these problems. I had to work at them. I had to remind myself that I am BETTER than that! I am not the evil queen they tried to make me. I am not a villain to want their demise.

I write my stories out, the circumstances that happened, my thoughts to my circumstances, how I felt at that time, what actions that I took or wanted to take.  But the thing is, all these feelings affected me! Not the one who had hurt me, but for me alone. All the anger I kept inside was boiling to the point of an exploding mountain! No one could stop it, except for me.

I saw how my hatred and anger was affecting my children. I had to stop. But how?   I had to write my abusers a letter. I told how they had hurt me, how it affected me, how it still affects me and what I wanted to do to them!
Then I BURNT IT! That’s right, I burnt the letter. I felt the release of my anger, my hurt and my resentment all these years go up in smoke!  Those beautiful reds and orange colors just bursting in air! It was a release.

I then wrote how it made me feel. I am free! Free of anger, Free of Resentment, Free of Hurt… FREE!!!

You see, I had to forgive myself for being a child and believing in the adults who were supposed to protect me. Then I had to forgive my ex-husband who hurt me during our marriage, as well as myself for not sticking up for ME!  Once I did all that, I became FREE!

I am no longer holding all that anger, hurt or resentment inside of me. Now don’t get me wrong, I may have forgiven these people, but I do NOT want them in my life. I no longer wish them harm, but I will NOT go out of my way to help them either.

You, too, can be free of anger, hurt or resentment.

As a Healing Life Coach, I’ll be more than happy to discuss the fees and steps you need to take. reach out to me or someone. Get the help you need to be free and to live a happier, abundant life!

Much Love,

Lou-Ellen