As I look out the window
I watch the grandkids play
My children are in the background
I feel so lonely today.
My children ask me a question, again
The window is giving off a glare
I turn around to answer
And all I can do is stare.
As I listen to the grandkids laugh
I realize I’m not really there
I feel so alone and lonely
Like not one kid will care.
I need to take myself someplace else
Instead of standing by the window
Looking out and seeing nothing
Not even which way the wind will blow.
I wrap my arms around myself
Holding myself as tight as can be
Not feeling hot, cold or anything
Just standing there wondering about me.
My oldest child wraps her arms around me
Tells me she loves me and kisses my cheek
I tap her hand with mine as I close my eyes
I wonder what day this is of the week.
I feel nothing standing by the window
With my daughter’s arms around me
My thoughts are no longer my own
I just want to get up and leave.
I feel like I’m in a looking glass
All I can do is stare
Like they can’t see me
Am I really there?