Domestic Violence

Controlling emotions

When I feel self-doubt, lack of confidence, anxiety, or even fear, I get ANGRY! Angry at myself for not believing in me. Angry at THEM for putting this doubt in my head. Yes THEM!

Having been abused, I still hear them tell me that I’m worthless, no good, not smart enough, not good enough, etc, etc, etc.  This is called Intrapersonal problems (within myself). I do argue with myself, a lot! I ask myself: Why am I here? Who am I? What difference will I make? Am I loveable? Am I worthy of love/friendship?

So, when I get in this mood I stop and think. I try to think clearer; to be able to recognize and control my emotions.

Do you feel like this sometimes? Do you know how to change and control your emotions?  How does one solve their emotional problems and create or find the results they want or need? These are just an example of two steps I take.

  1.  Knowing your emotions and recognizing your feelings when they happen is defined as self-awareness.  It’s about paying attention to yourself. It’s your ability to notice your feelings, your reactions, and your thoughts. It’s about being honest with yourself.
  2.  Handling and managing your feelings appropriately is called managing your emotions. Your thoughts and attitude cause your emotions, not your circumstances.

We need to retrain our thoughts to get the results we want. Instead of “reacting”; we need to learn to stop and think about HOW we are interpreting the scene and then we need to choose a response that is more effective.

This won’t be easy to do. It will take time, patience and lots and lots of practice.  But with time, practice–even making mistakes, trying time after time, you too can get the results you want/need in order to live a more peaceful, authentic life.

Working on these simple steps; stop, think, react differently, will take time but eventually it will keep you calm in the event of a crisis. (Even if that crisis is only in my head or your own head.)

As an abused person, I too, am working on these steps; daily. My abuse will never go away, nor the feelings the abuse created. However, I am a better person today due to working on these simple steps and keeping a positive outlook on life, not a negative one. I like to spread cheer and joy, so I must turn my negative thoughts and feelings to positiveness and remind myself that I AM WORTHY! I AM GOOD ENOUGH!

How about you? What works for you? Do you need a Healing Life Coach to help guide you through these steps and more?

If so, please reach out. We can talk via phone, Skype, or in person; depending on where you live.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Much Love,
Lou-Ellen